If your partner is having constant mood swings, it is very important that you don’t take everything to heart. Try to remain calm and try to talk to him.
If he doesn’t feel like talking at that moment just let him be until he is more relaxed and ready to talk and share his feelings. If things don’t change and get better over time, you should ask for help and support from friends and family as this could definitely be a sign of some psychological disorder.
Method 1 : Coping in the moment
– Don’t take anything personally
When someone starts getting at you with no particular reason, you need to make sure you don’t immediately take it to heart. Sometimes, it will have nothing to do with you, the person may simply need to vent out on somebody, and that somebody happened to be you at that moment.
If you are dealing with a moody person, be aware that mood swings are bound to happen, and most of the time they will have nothing to do with you or anything you did. If your boyfriend lashes out on you and was previously in a good mood, just remember that it is part of who they are and it not necessarily owes to something you did or said. This can be frustrating yes, but it is not something that is up to you and not something you can control.
– Ask if there is anything wrong
If your partner is having a mood swing try to reach out to him, maybe he needs to talk it out with somebody. If you ask him whether there’s anything wrong, he will stop to think for a second and maybe even realise that there’s nothing to be upset about and that his reaction is irrational.
Whatever you do, be gentle about it. Tell him that you are worried and that his behaviour is hurting you, so If there’s something bothering him he should just say it. Please bear in mind that whatever the situation, you should never be obliged to put up with someone’s physical or verbal aggression. If he’s yelling at you just leave him alone. Try and talk when he calms down so that you can understand what’s really wrong.
– Don’t let his bad mood transfer onto you
Always keep in mind that you can’t control other people’s mood but you can control your own. Don’t let his moodiness get to you and make you feel moody yourself. It’s normal that you feel frustrated because of them, but you can’t do anything about it but try to control yourself and remain composed. If for example, your boyfriend gets angry at the waiter at dinner just because he forgot to bring your drink orders, you don’t have to necessarily agree. Simply remain calm and don’t let his anger get to you.
– Keep things into perspective
Always bear in mind that if someone is moody, then the bad mood will soon go away as fast as it came. But this is still not something that should be ignored, especially if he is taking his frustrations out on you. This should always be addressed as a serious problem.
Method 2: Communication is key during mood swings
– Be an active listener
When someone is experiencing a mood swing, they may lash out on you, but as long as they’re not aggressive, then just hear them out. Sometimes they just need to vent. Even if you don’t necessarily agree to what they’re saying, it’s important that they know that you are there to hear them out. This means that you shouldn’t be paying attention to the TV or staring at your phone while they’re talking about what’s bothering them. Don’t immediately start criticizing and placing blame on them, at least try to understand where they’re coming from. However, if they are aggressive towards you, just leave the room.
– Make sure he feels like he is being heard
When someone is experiencing a mood swing, don’t try to get them out of it immediately. Instead, make sure you let them know you understand how they feel and see their point of view. Don’t tell them that they’re being irrational, that never helps. Simply let them know that you listen and understand their frustration and you are there to help them.
– If he’s angry just leave
If your partner is experiencing a mood swing and is aggressive towards you, the best thing to do is remain calm and just leave. It will be pointless to try and defend yourself because you didn’t do anything wrong in the first place and just make things worse. If you fall subject to verbal abuse, just try to remain calm, tell him that you are leaving to give him some space so that he can calm down.
– If necessary, pull his attention away from his feelings
If it is possible and he’s willing to cooperate, try to distract him with something. Ask him what he would like to do, if he has no suggestions then you give him some. You can make him a drink or something to eat, watch a movie, take a walk or simply exercise. But if despite all your efforts he’s still being mean to you just leave him be. .
Method 3: Addressing issues that run deeper than meets the eye
– Set boundaries
If you know that your partner is a moody person, it is very important to set clear boundaries from the very beginning. That way you can call him out when he crosses those boundaries. Make it clear that you care for him and are there to hear him out and help him, but he has to understand that he can’t take his frustrations out on you.
Tell him that if he wants you to hear him out, he needs to speak to you calmly and not curse and yell at you.
– Remind him of the boundaries if necessary
Setting boundaries is no easy task. They can easily be crossed and even forgotten. That’s why it is always important to remind him when he violates some boundary that that behaviour is unacceptable to you.
– Support him and encourage him to ask for help
Constant mood swings that don’t stop are a signal of a mental disorder. When your loved one is constantly experiencing them then you should support him and encourage him to ask for professional help. If this is not addressed on time it can do serious damage to your relationship.
Never bring this out when he’s upset, wait until he is calm and in a good mood and then discuss the possibility of therapy. Try to make him understand that you are doing this out of love and care for him and help him find a good therapist. If he feels uncomfortable doing it on his own, you can always try couple counseling, which can help you communicate better with each other.
– Support his decision to get therapy
If your partner decides to seek help, then he needs to have your support. Remind him that it is nothing to be ashamed about and encourage him to share his experience with you. If the therapist tells him some exercises and techniques that can help him cope better with the mood swings, then help him practice them.
Method 4: Care about yourself
– Never lose connections with other people
When you’re dating someone that has mood swings, it is easy to isolate yourself from other people. Always bear in mind that he is not the only person that needs help. You will also need all the help and support you can get when dealing with such a person. Stay connected with your friends and family and reach out to them when you feel overwhelmed.
– Control your stress levels
When dealing with a moody person, getting stressed and frustrated is inevitable. That’s why you should always try to deal with stress as much as possible so that it doesn’t cause greater damage on the long run. Do a lot of exercises, yoga and meditation, or even talk to a therapist yourself.
– Have a life outside the relationship
Always make sure that you are tending to your own needs as well. Have a life of your own and don’t let his mood swings consume you. You are not obligated to tend to someone else’s irrational behaviour. Let him know straight up that you need time for yourself to do things that you like to do. Read your favourite books, take walks, see your friends and do your hobbies. Don’t always make them the centre of your universe and always make time for yourself.
– If things get too much, just end it
Constant mood swings can easily go out of hand and turn into abuse. If you feel like this then it is obvious that you need to end it and the sooner the better. If he is trying to control you, is being aggressive towards you, is being too clingy and needy, unreasonably jealous then just walk away. You do not need that kind of drama in your life.